To love others, learn to love yourself

* You call your work that you do today “good enough.”

* You dress sexy and believe you are.

* You know you’ve already done enough in your life to feel proud. And that it’s a choice if you want to do more, and not because others are expecting it.

But what’s self-love for you: slowing down, letting the monster out, escaping blame, or what? What defines “being good to yourself”?

The practice of compassion is to heal the heart. Not having self-compassion can eventually destroy our inner happiness, health and relationships.

It’s important to be kind to yourself and learn how to honour yourself. Forgive yourself. This is the ultimate source of peace, healing and inner happiness. Let go of all the grudges you are holding towards yourself, and, as you do this, slowly you can do the same towards others as you gently and slowly heal old wounds.

Mostly, go gently and be your own best friend.

* This column will appear every two weeks. Carin-Lee Masters is a clinical psychologist in private practice.

While she cannot enter into correspondence with individual readers, she will try to answer as many queries as possible through this column or refer you to organisations that can assist. Write to her at or send a WhatsApp message or SMS to 082 264 7774.

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